What Is the ShouldStorm and Why Should You Care? | Alison Escalante MD

Parents face a culture of criticism and anxiety, and so do their kids.

Parents can’t avoid the culture of criticism that pushes perfectionistic parenting. They are told everything they do matters, and that one little mistake could mess up their child for life. Then, they are told that parents are too anxious these days. They are pelted with advice on how to worry less because anxious over-parenting is… messing up their children.

You should do this, says the advice. You should do that. You should definitely not do that other thing. You should not be a worried parent and you should not raise your voice. You should be calm and consistent and parent your children expertly. But you should be worried about whether you are calm enough. This is the ShouldStorm.

The parenting anxiety epidemic.

When I started my career as a pediatrician, I did not yet understand any of this. I had just spent a couple of months in the ICU, watching kids fight for their lives. Their parents struggled with their greatest fear. And then I was in practice, where parents were bringing kids in for 6 hours of cold symptoms to “nip it in the bud.”